Category: About CRC

The Spirit World and Global Politics

11/30/2023

Dante’s Divine Comedy describes two planes of the spiritual existence: heaven and hell. In fact, his opus is a description of one spiritual plane: Hades.

Dante lists the gateway between the planes as Purgatory, and I have been there. In 2013, In April of 2013 survived an attempt on my life. I was thrown from a construction scaffold at Denver International Airport by two paid assassins as another stood lookout. Injuries from the accident placed me in an induced coma, and within that coma my heart stopped twice.

Whist in Purgatory, I was offered three offramps to Nirvana by God itself. The first included a fairytale: a joyous reunion with my mother, the abusive man that battered her and molested me, and a young girl I had claimed my own out of wedlock.

The second scenario included returning to my present life and surrendering my oath of service to become a turncoat. In exchange God offered me carnal pleasures and earthly delights.

The third included a disillusioned afterlife. The airplane that had taken me from Atlanta to Denver the day of the assassination attempt was actually loaded with plastique explosives, and I was set to become a patsy for a domestic terrorist incident by the United States Federal Reserve Board through Barrack Obama’s Administration. God itself offered to intercede after the fact, and offered me martyrdom as a hero. He implied that I would be credited with the safe arrival of the flight an given a hero’s welcome in Washington.

All that was required by God for a trip to Nirvana was to deny Our Lord and Savior’s name. In that I refused.

The truth of the matter is that Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ sat with me on the airplane that day as did the Holy Mother Mary. She held my arm shortly after the flight took off held tight until shortly before landing. Angels of our Lord sat with me after the assassination attempt and Our Lord and Savior Himself opened the gates of Hell and released me back to life to perform in His service.

In the months and years since, I have been in the presence of the living both the living and the dead in spirit. I can say without a doubt that many among the living have in fact forsaken the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ or his bonded servants Satan, Lucifer, Nikodemus, and Azul. I can say in fact that God’s ghouls, ghosts, and goblins exist in men and women God has corrupted and that they long to assume the identities of sons and daughters that remain faithful to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

In the last handful of days, much of the deception and lies perpetrated by my handlers in the CIA and the GCHQ has begun to wear off. I was originally drawn into service by Queen Elisabeth II and passed off to her son Charles Edward Lazard. I was then later passed off by Prince Charles to his son Henry Edward Lazard.

I can say without a doubt that both are entirely corrupt. Charles has forsaken Our Lord and Savior’s name for what he believes is immortality, seven hundred years of earthly existence in the form of a feline. His son Henry has done much the same in exchange from life in the form of an equine.

I can also say without a doubt that Princess Dianna’s first born son William Edward Lazard, the Crown Prince of Wales, is a man worthy of the throne. He is honest and true in his faith, of strong character, and a natural leader. The world stands at the cusp of war and he is Christ’s chosen elect.

I can also say without a doubt that the Americas are wholly and entirely polluted and corrupt. So too are the masters they serve in Sidney, Tokyo, and Beijing. Men of wealth and standing have secretly been moving assets into China and New Zealand since 1946. Through secret societies and back-office deals, nearly all of them have succumbed to God’s offerings and sold exchanged their trust and leadership for illusory promises.

They in fact plan a third Exodus. The first occurred when Moses led the Israelites out of the promised land. The second occurred when Queen Elizabeth I planned the Mayflower expedition. This third exodus much resembles the opening to the television series Bonanza. Landed American families including the Kochs, the Bushes, Roves, the Cathys, and the Fords plan to forsake the American middle class for Asia and Australia under false beliefs of reincarnation. In their wake, a Marxist underground awaits to subjugate the Americas a farming ground for Communist China.

Christ warned that it is easier for camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to find the kingdom of heaven. This is all together true. The current Presidential Administration, the House, the Senate, and every Federal Department outside the United States Treasury have been corrupted from in by Marxists and closet fascist Republicans that forget fascism is rooted in Marxism.

Similarly, within the United Kingdom, the British Parliament plays pussyfoot as King Charles and Prince Henry slowly boil the United Kingdom in collective Marxism. Make no mistake, Prince Henry’s move to Hollywood, California with a known Marxist like Megan Markle was a strategic move.

The present King of England, a sodomite who raped 287 vestal virgins aboard Virgin Airways flights arranged by Jeffry Epstein between 1964 and 2016, wishes to watch and witness the entire world burn down to ash. Under God’s influence he intends to leave a dystopian world akin to ancient Egypt behind for his child he begat through rape: Henry Edward Lazard. Rest assured, Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ will not allow this to happen.

Author: Erik Gagnon - Chi Rho Consulting

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In the Wake of My Resignation From the Intelligence Community

11/21/2023

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“I will proclaim Your name to my brothers,
In the midst of the assembly, I will sing Your praise.”
---Hebrews 2:12

After thirty-four years of service, I officially resigned my commission as a Major Lieutenant officer in Great Britain’s GCHQ in August of 2022. During the first twenty years of my career, I conducted covert combat operations on American soil on behalf of the British Crown. After my combat license was decommissioned, I engaged with the American CIA on a series of Black Ops campaigns up until the time I resigned.

In October of last year, I publicly announced my resignation both in a published article and on social media. In the article, I discussed details of my involvement and recruitment with the GCHQ and the CIA, shared testimony of my acceptance of Christ into my life, His subsequent grace, and revealed the reasons I had decided to resign my commission. The feedback I have received after opening up about my involvement in the intelligence community and sharing my testimony was not what I expected.

Since the article was first published, a handful of acquaintances have reached out to me and expressed admiration of my testimony. That said, several acquaintances have expressed a degree of envy or admiration over my activities. In doing so, they seem to have missed the entire point of my testimony.

The point I was making with the article is that I sold my life away when I took my oath of service. For starters, my corporate positions and my consulting gigs were a front for espionage. While I may have made some contributions to achieving the goals of my employers, my mind was often elsewhere. I lied, cheated, and stole to a degree with regularity. The dual life I led took enormous tolls on me both mentally and spiritually.

Worse still, violation of the Sixth Commandment was a prerequisite for the career path I chose. Film and television make a habit of glorifying the type of activities I was involved in without touching on the moral and ethical consequences for the individual. I took no joy in my combat missions and terminated my targets with extreme prejudice. In effect, I was trained to become a psychopath.

Because of the nature of my work, I was incapable of maintaining lasting and meaningful relationships. To protect my loved ones, I had to lie about my work and related activities. Sex and alcohol became a means of escape, and the both nearly overtook me. I lived an empty shell of an existence, and the lifestyle nearly killed me.

I hope the men who have reached out to me and admire my activities will take a step back and give thanks that they never had to engage in this line of work. As I said, signing my life away to perform espionage nearly killed me. Aside for the combat operations I was involved in, I survived two attempts on my life during the later years of my career. The first placed me in a medically induced coma.

That attempt occurred only months after I had surrendered my care and will to Christ. During the coma, I journeyed to the gates of hades and spent two-and-a-half weeks in agonizing torture. Christ himself released me from the bondage of that torture and returned me to life. It was a harrowing experience.

Aside from the misguided acquaintances I have mentioned here, I have also been harassed by a couple of men who believe I am a freelance gun for hire. In fact, I have been approached by junior members of known criminal organizations and asked to lend them my services. Inexplicably, they do not seem to comprehend the word “no.”

Moving forward has meant turning my back on my old ways. I have had to renounce every contact with Satan and his servants, with secret societies and with anything in Satan’s territory. For example, I am aware that my CIA dossier was leaked by a high-profile former White House official to Hollywood screenwriters and that a motion picture with a character based on my life is in the works. These are the type of things I am having to renounce.

My prayers are with the misguided souls that believe my espionage activities were noble or glamorous and worthy of retelling. As I said, I nearly forsook my soul for the false idols of king and county, nation, and flag. Christ warns that narrow is the pathway to heaven and eternal peace. I have experienced enough of the horrors of war to know that consciously deviating from His path is a fool’s errand.

Here is a link to the article I published last October: https://www.chirho.consulting/blog/coming-clean-and-resigning-my-commission-with-the-gchq

Author: Erik Gagnon - Chi Rho Consulting

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One of The Most Disgusting Weekend of My Life

9/9/2023

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“Little children comprehend wisdom, and unwise men pursue wisdom.”
---Proverbs 8:5

Princeton University is famous for their annual class reunions. Shortly before graduation every year over fifty percent of the university’s alumni return to the campus for a four-day weekend marked with seminars, concerts, and drinking. Lots and lots of drinking.

Every year, the 25th anniversary class serves as the honorary hosts for the event. Well-known music artists have been known to play at their nightly galas on occasion, and the events are catered with four-star food. Suffice it to say, their reunion party t is an elaborate extravaganza

Rumors have it that more beer is consumed during these reunion events than during any other annual celebration held in the United States aside from the Superbowl. I am a graduate of Princeton University and I happened to attend my 25th reunion five years ago. I witnessed the beer consumption first-hand, and I can tell you from what I witnessed that the rumors are probably true.

The grounds crew that worked the event simply could not keep up with the alcohol consumption. Empty cups and beer bottles were littered all throughout the campus. Many of the classes that host events also have open bars, and a slew of empty liquor bottles were also strewn in amongst the debris.

Our evening gatherings were ruckus celebrations that remined me very much of my days as an undergraduate, and not in a good way. Men and women (some with young children) made assess of themselves during these evening celebrations. For example, I can remember some of my former fellow athletes taking their shirts off and screaming like banshees as they drank beer through funnels. Keep in mind that these were forty-five to fifty-year-old men.

Every evening, the debauchery was so bad that I made my way over to the campus center for refuge. There, I found a handful of other alumni that seemed as bemused with what was going on as I was. That said, we were an isolated handful in a sea of hedonists.

By the fourth day of the event, empty cups and beer cans were stacked up at least a foot high throughout the common areas of the campus. That day is traditionally marked by an alumni parade through the grounds of the campus. The 25th anniversary class makes a triumphant march in front of all the other classes on that day, and I joined in on this procession. Quite frankly, the condition of the campus was so disgusting that it left me sick.

As I paraded through the campus with my classmates, I can remember thinking to myself that this event epitomized the global elite of our time: wealthy and privileged men and women behaving like animals in front of their family, friends, and associates. I stayed a day longer than most others, and I can remember the campus resembled a battlefield towards the end. Quite frankly, I felt embarrassed and ashamed to be call myself an alumnus afterward.

I can definitively say that I will never attend another Princeton reunion. The university abandoned its scriptural foundation long ago and it shows no signs of returning. Sadly, the same can be said for the seven other Ivy League schools and other educational institutions with similar reputations worldwide. The drunken debauchery I witnessed during of my 25th reunion is a testament to what these schools have become.

“Those who fashion an idol are all futile, and their treasured things are of no benefit; even their own witnesses fail to see or know, so that they will be put to shame.”
---Isaiah 44:9

CHRIST TRANSLATES FROM BEAST TO YEAST. CHRIST RETURNITH.

Author: Erik Gagnon - Managing Partner, Chi Rho Consulting

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The Truth About QAnon and the State of America's Intelligence Agencies

9/5/2023

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“Babylon, the jewel of kingdoms, the pride and glory of the Babylonians, will be overthrown by God like Sodom and Gomorrah.”
---Isaiah 13:19

In 2017, a right-wing propaganda movement known as “Q” took root online. The movement’s followers were known as QAnon, and the movement was attributed to one or more American intelligence officials loyal to President Trump and the founding principles of the nation. The crux of this propaganda asserted that a powerful cabal of Satanic, cannibalistic child molesters conspired against Donald Trump and that thar cabal traffics children worldwide for their Satanic rituals.

This basic premises of this propaganda happen to be true. A cabal of wealthy powerbrokers that exploits children within their Satanic rituals does in fact exist. The cabal consists of members of the Bilderberg Group and their banking interests. The group includes the likes of the Barrack and Michelle Obama, John and Mary Podesta, Joseph and Jill Biden, the Rothchild family, and the Astor family.

This group routinely invites celebrities, religious leaders, bureaucrats, politicians, and academic leaders to join them for surface gatherings to further their influence and attempts to buy them off with pleasures of the flesh. That said, rumors that American intelligence officials are the source of the Q propaganda are false. The source of this propaganda happens to be Great Britain’s international espionage agency, the GCHQ.

I was a commissioned combat officer within the GCHQ’s Clandestine Operations Unit for twenty years. I completed the last of my assigned combat missions in 2009. Afterward, I transitioned to counterintelligence and was decommissioned from combat duty. I remained in the field in in an elevated capacity until August of last year. That said, I had nothing to do with the Q initiative.

Despite a wealth of technology and human resources, American intelligence agencies are far inferior to the British intelligence apparatus. There are twenty-six branches of intelligence within the United States government including military branches, and each is politically stratified. Also, most of America’s intelligence agencies are compromised with foreign agents.

In contrast, Great Britain’s intelligence agencies work together in close concert. There are four branches of intelligence, and they are well-integrated with both the military and the British educational system. Not only that, all four branches have been in operation for over two hundred years. The level of mastery and sophistication all four branches display in the areas of espionage, propaganda, and counterintelligence are only rivaled by the Republic of Turkey’s.

In recent months, Q’s propaganda has resurfaced online after nearly a three-year hiatus. The purposes of these renewed propaganda campaigns are the same as they were during Donald Trump’s Presidency: 1) to counterbalance Bilderberg’s foothold on media worldwide and 2) to shift elections toward the right side of the political spectrum in democratically elected governments. Within the United States their efforts were largely unsuccessful during the 2020 elections because of rampant cheating within key electoral districts. That cheating was orchestrated by the Bilderberg Group and acted upon by several of their organized affiliates including the DNC, Black Lives Matter, and Antifa.

The United States home front has been the target of a concerted cold war effort by the People’s Republic of China, the Bilderberg Group, and the British Crown ever since the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989. The collapse of the Soviet Union and the break up of the Eastern Bloc created a power vacuum throughout the world and all three of these powers took aim at American influence and culture in an effort to fill that vacuum. They also stepped up their efforts to corrupt American political leaders and government bureaucracies.

For the past three decades, British officials have sought to re-colonize the United States and all North America largely through the consolidation of public debt and the purchase of municipal bonds in masse. The recent propaganda efforts through Q and other anonymous 4chan sources were a counterintelligence maneuver designed to thwart the Bilderberg Group’s efforts to facilitate communist revolutions throughout Europe and the United States.

American politicians are profoundly shortsighted, and this truth has played into the hands of international powerbrokers and their supporting banking interests for years. Toward the end of World War II, American corporations brokered citizenship for several wealthy and prominent fascists throughout Europe through the Federal Reserve System’s Board of Governors. In exchange for their loyalty to American interests, these fascists were integrated into corporate-run think tanks and academic institutions throughout the country.

To a certain degree, the same trend occurred following the Cold War. As American politicians looked the other way, prominent scientists from Eastern Bloc nations were granted American citizenship as well as entry into American academics. Under Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and Barrack Obama’s Presidential administrations, much the same occurred with Communist China.

In effect, the United States became drunk on its laurels toward the end of World War II and repeated the same patterns as the Cold War with the Soviets neared an end. Suffice it to say, Trojan Horses from all three rival world powers haven entered the United States since the Berlin Wall fell. In turn these Trojan Horses have compromised the American intelligence community more so than ever been before.

Since the fall of the Berlin Wall, foreign agents have routinely compromised American bureaucrats and public officials to gather intelligence and influence United States’ foreign and domestic policies. Their efforts were so successful in fact that the majority of families that back the United States Federal Reserve elected to withdraw support from the American Economy in 1998. Since that time, there has been a concerted effort by America’s rivals to overwhelm the United States with debt and force the nation into default.

Within the United States, the primary strategic objectives of Q’s propaganda are twofold: 1) to delay default for as long as possible so British bankers can buy up the nation’s public debt interests and 2) to sway American foreign policy interests toward the interest of the Crown. Whether or not these efforts will be successful remains to be seen. Bilderberg continues to maintain a stranglehold on the American media and Joe Biden still matches up favorably against his GOP rivals despite perhaps having had the worst first term in office in the history of the American Presidency.

That said, the fact that American intelligence community did not debunk allegations that they themselves were supplying Q’s propaganda to the Trump Administration and to the public at large tells you all you need to know about the lack of focus and cohesion within the American intelligence community. Like the Pentagon, the intelligence agencies are a labyrinth of corruption and waste. They have largely been bought and paid for by corporate interests and foreign actors over the years.

“One of the seven angels who had the seven bowls came and said to me, ‘Come, I will show you the punishment of the great prostitute, who sits by many waters. With her the kings of the earth committed adultery, and the inhabitants of the earth were intoxicated with the wine of her adulteries.’
Then the angel carried me away in the Spirit into a wilderness. There I saw a woman sitting on a scarlet beast that was covered with blasphemous names and had seven heads and ten horns.”
---Revelations 17:1-3

CHRIST TRANSLATES FROM BEAST TO YEAST. CHRIST RETURNITH

Author: Erik Gagnon - Managing Partner, Chi Rho Consulting

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Thoughts on Monogamy and Celibacy from a Former Espionage Agent

8/30/2023

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“Or what woman, if she has ten silver coins and loses one coin, does not light a lamp and sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? And when she has found it, she calls together her friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Rejoice with me, because I have found the coin which I had lost!’ In the same way, I tell you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of Christ over one sinner who repents.”
---Luke 15:8-10

I was raised in an abusive household, and that fact had a lot to do with my recruitment by the British Crown’s foreign intelligence service. It is a little-known fact that the GCHQ actively recruits naive and willing agents from their former colonies through the Masonic Order and that’s what happened to me. I was willing to die for king and country and nation and flag, and the GCHQ exploited the abuse I’d suffered to further the interests of the Crown. Later in my career, the CIA did much the same.

I spent thirty-three plus years as a field officer for the GCHQ, the first twenty as a commissioned combat officer and the last thirteen-plus as a deep-cover Major Lieutenant., During that time, I forsook meaningful relationships for the sake of my missions and nearly died a hundred times over. It was a lonely, grueling lifestyle.

THE HOUSEHOLD IN WHICH I GREW UP
The man who raised me is and was a sodomite in a scriptural sense, and so are many members of extended family. That man sexually abused me; and he was routinely abused my mother. Members of my extended family did much the same, and their depravity shaped my values and belief system from an early age. Nearly all of them are still alive.

The man who raised me has a snap temper and he frequently abused my mother. Some of my earliest memories include witnessing that man routinely exploit her good nature, watching him violate her body against her will, and listening to him verbally abuse her unrelentingly. Somewhere around the age of four, I decided I had had enough and made it a point to defend my mother. From that point on, I bore the brunt of his verbal abuse and his physical threats.

The man who raised me is not my biological father. The DNA does not match, and my mother is not aware of this fact. She is an alcoholic and was raped multiple times before my birth by family members whilst she was in a stupor: twice by a brother-in-law and once by a sister-in-law. Through Christ’s grace, my mother has no recollection of the rapes she experienced at the hands of her in-laws. That said, other family members knew about the rape incidents and they have never come clean with her.

My mother’s marriage to this man was loosely arranged by her stepfather. He, too, had abused her verbally, and he persuaded my mother that she could do no better than this man. This occurred after her stepfather convinced her to steer clear of the man of her life, the son of a wealthy car dealer from Wheaton, Illinois that went by the name Walter.

My mother has a brilliant mind and was an incredibly beautiful young woman. The type of woman that turned heads on the street. Her stepfather introduced her to alcohol in the form of Gin at the age of fifteen and would play mind games with my mother after he had given her a couple of drinks.

The man who raised me repeated this same pattern with my mother. He would feed my mother alcohol on the weekends when he was home to sedate her. He would then tell my mother grandiose plans for their future when the effects of the alcohol began to set in. This man continued to do so until my mother’s health began to fail a couple years back. From a psychological perspective, he is what you would call an enabler and would also be categorized as a sociopath.

The man who raised me is cowardly. Like any sociopath, he would take advantage of me in leveraged situations. For example, he would verbally berate me and attempt to humiliate me in public. This was especially true during my adolescence and early teen years.

This man would mock me for what he considered my shortcomings and attempt to instill insecurities as he had with my mother. That said, I didn’t roll over. I would often push back until his rage nearly boiled over and physical confrontation occurred. To quell these occurrences, I learned to lie at an early age and told him exactly what he wanted to hear simply to placate his ego.

During my infancy, the man who raised me sexually abused me multiple times on the weekends when my mother ran errands. He would drink beer, turn on the television, and set me in his lap. When I began to fall asleep, he would tug at my genitals, and I would begin to cry. I can remember his merciless repetition of this act and his laughter as I lay there helpless. He knew what he was doing, and he derived perverse pleasure from the torture he inflicted.

The man who raised me often physically harassed my mother in the kitchen. He would assert his physical dominance over her and grope her in unwelcoming ways. My mother would fight him off and often wind up in tears. When this occurred, the man who raised me would let out the same type laugh.

Around the age of four, I reached a breaking point and decided to become my mother’s protector. When the temper of the man who raised me became heated, I would distract his attention away from my mother. He liked to watch the news during dinner and opine on the events of the day. I would counter his points with points of my own and continue a tit for tat until he told me to shut my mouth. That was generally enough to keep him from harming my mother.

Even though I did not receive a catechism or religious training, Christ’s commands were written on my heart. Therefore, I did my best to refrain from physical confrontations with the man who raised me and I also refrained from name calling. That said, when the man who raised me verbally abused my mother away from the dinner table, I would often step in to defend her.

His verbal abuse of the two of us was commonplace when he was in town, and I made a point to steer clear of him the best I could. Starting around the age of eight, I began to spend a lot of time on the streets and was frequently taken in by neighbors for supper. I learned to hustle and barter for money and told lies about the situation at home mostly to protect my mother from the wrath of the man who raised me other than anything else.

MY EXTENDED FAMILY
The man who raised me was not the only member of my family that molested me. One of his younger sisters also violated me during my infancy and two of my cousins violated me during my adolescence. Like most children, I swept the traumatic experiences to the back of my mind after they occurred. I did not begin to reflect upon these incidents until years later.

My aunt molested me the day of my Christening. While placing a gift upon my crib, she bent down, kissed me on the lips and slipped her tongue into my mouth. I was halfway asleep when this occurred, and I began screaming. My mother had to console me for over an hour afterward.

At the age of four my mother and I went to visit my grandmother and her stepfather. A cousin of mine happened to also be visiting them at the time. She was eleven years older than me blossoming into her sexuality, and she proceeded to molest me during the visit.

One evening before bed, she entered the guest room, approached me, and kissed me directly on the lips. I turned flush and my heart raced. Afterward, she smiled seductively ad then exit the room while keeping eye contact with me. A couple of minutes later, she returned to the guest room and kissed me a second time with more exuberance. That second kiss left me feeling numb.

She wasn’t the only cousin of mine that molested me. A year later, a paternal cousin seven years my elder gave me a long, passionate kiss in front of her brother with whom I was close. She then told me to sit by her and held my hand in a sensual manner. That kiss and her affectionate gestures were designed to make her brother jealous, and they did.

My male cousin told our parents about what had occurred and the man who raised me berated me in front of the family. Afterward, my aunt and uncle led my cousins out of the house and my male cousin held his head down in shame. I learned years later that he held some sort of romantic feelings of his own for me at the time.

I didn’t think much about these incidents until years later, but each had a profound influence on my sex life. There was no romantic affection demonstrated within the house I grew up in, and my ideas of romance mostly stemmed from literature and film. Having witnessed the abuse my mother routinely suffered, love and romance became heavenly ideals for me and the moments of physical intimacy I experienced with my girlfriends were cherished.

I began to seek close relationships with women early on in life and longed to find a soulmate. At the age of fifteen, I began a romantic relationship with the daughter of a Cosa Nostra captain and fell in love with her, but it was never meant to be. She, too, came from an abusive household and it was a volatile relationship. I learned years later that her father had kept her from her true soulmate for business purposes.

The man who raised me worked with a mid-level British Freemason who gathered intelligence on the organization’s behalf. He was aware of the violent disposition the man who raised me possessed, and he was also told about my above average intelligence. Additionally, the man who raised me shared details of my mother’s family’s escape from Fascist oppression and Soviet occupation in Latvia during World War II with this man.

In turn, the GCHQ was made aware of these details by his superiors. and they began to monitor my activities when I first entered grammar school. By the time they reached out to me during my senior year of high school, they had assembled a comprehensive psychological profile. The GCHQ was aware of my makeup, and they exploited my vulnerabilities. In was coached to forego my natural instincts and encourage to become promiscuous to achieve my mission tasks.

ACTING AGAINST CHRIST’S COMMANDS
The GCHQ helped place me into Princeton University on an emersion assignment and also to groom me for future assignments. The university has long been a bastion for the children of Cosa Nostra bosses and underbosses, and my drinking behavior fit in with their crowd. For the duration of my education, not only did I socialize with these people, I also assisted in collecting profile assessments on them for future use.

During my time at Princeton, I targeted women that had been involved with the children of Cosa Nostra bosses or underbosses for romantic relationships. I also had a handful of sexual encounters with their daughters as well as their mistresses. Although these relationships and sexual encounters helped me achieve my assigned objectives, my promiscuity left me feeling empty inside. Simply put, I was unable to develop healthy relationships with due to my oath of service.

After I graduated from Princeton, I spent a brief period in Northern Virginia where I completed advanced combat training and field awareness training. Afterward, I was place on assignment in Kansas City, Kansas. There, I monitored the movement of money in and out of the area and made a sketch of Cosa Nosta’s base of operations for the GCHQ. Whilst on assignment there, I met a woman and fell in love for the second time. That relationship also was never meant to be.

The Woman I met in Kansas City had had a daughter from a previous relationship. I developed a bond of intimacy with this woman I had never experienced before and looked upon her daughter as my own. That said, I was never able to give myself to them wholly and completely due to the nature of my assignments.

Three years into the relationship, I took an honest look at myself and realized that I that the risks of remaining in the relationship were too great. I could not be honest with them about the nature of my work, and I was unwilling to place their lives at risk. I also had chemical dependency issues and realized full well that I would be a poor male role model for her daughter. In short, I loved them both dearly and ended the relationship for their wellbeing.

Afterward, I engaged in a couple of casual flings and then jumped into a relationship with a woman who distantly reminded me of the woman I had loved. Like the woman I loved, this woman had an outgoing personality. She also happened to have a similar hair color. With little thought, I asked this woman to marry me and she said yes. That relationship turned out to be an unmitigated disaster.

At heart, I knew the relationship was doomed from the start. Most telling was an incident that occurred shortly after we became engaged. I happened to be on a restricted diet, and the woman I was about to marry made dinner for me one night. The meal didn’t accommodate my restricted diet, and I kindly had to pass.

After I said "no, thank you" and explained why I was unable to eat what she had prepared, my fiancée flew into a rage and threw a full serving plate directly at my head. I dodged the plate and it smashed into the wall of her kitchen. As she continued to curse me out, I I heard a gentle man’s voice outside myself speak to me. That voce said one word emphatically: “run!”

In the years since that incident occurred, I have come to realize that the Holy Spirit spoke to me that day. Instead of heeding His warning, I ignored the voice and proceeded ahead with the wedding. Nevertheless, my fiancée’s reaction that night was indicative of what I routinely experienced during the four-plus years we were together. She was unfaithful and abusive throughout the relationship, and it is only through Christ’s grace that I escaped the marriage.

After the divorce, I distanced myself from relationships and turned to pornography as a coping mechanism to deal with the loneliness of my existence. That said, I began a relationship with an older woman whom I’d met online shortly before completing my last assigned combat mission. That relationship also turned into a disaster.

Without going into much detail, I’ll simply say that this woman distracted me from my missions. She was a high maintenance woman and there little to no emotional intimacy. I broke up with her shortly before I completed the second of my assigned combat missions, and that decision was for my own good.

RETURNING TO THE FOLD
In April of 2013, I survived a planned assassination attempt. I was placed in a coma and spent nearly six months in the hospital recovering from my injuries. Afterward, I spent nearly two years in Colorado undergoing additional surgeries along with intensive physical therapy.

During that time, I was introduced to a woman my same age through my mother. That woman came from a powerful political family, and she was going through a divorce. We quickly hit it off. She happened to be a gentle and caring soul very much like mother and she had a keen wit. She also happened alcoholic.

I cannot say that I was good for this woman, nor that she was good for me. We began a physical relationship after her divorce was finalized, and her drinking became worse afterwards. Concerned for her health, I reached out to her sister and their childhood nanny for help. The woman’s illness became progressively worse, and I finally had to leave her for my own health and wellbeing.

I have been bothered by the fact that the two of us engaged in a physical relationship and I wound up leaving her. That said, I had yet to come to terms with my intelligence career nor the effects it had on my behavior. I was still deep under cover when I was involved with this woman and hadn’t reflected on the fact that I had used physical relationships as a crutch much like alcohol to cope with the stresses of my assignments.

In the time since I first accepted Christ into my heart, my feelings about monogamy and the sanctity of romantic relationships have only grown stronger. Thar t was shortly after I completed the last of my assigned combat missions for the GCHQ. In the time since, memories of the training and instruction I received have begun to come back. In retrospect, I can honestly say that I did not like the man I was trained to be: a remorseless killer and an adulterer.

I have been privileged to know a handful of strong and loving couples in my life, and I can honestly say that there is nothing more beautiful than a man and a woman who are wholly and fully devoted to Christ and to one another. Christ’s word and His teachings always remain true, and they resonated with me during the two brief periods I experienced true romantic intimacy in my life. Aside from the brief time in Kansas City, my career with the GCHQ was a shallow and isolating existence.

AN UNEXPECTED IRONY
I have been celibate for nearly a decade now and have been at peace with the decision. I can say unequivocally that some of the greatest times of my life have occurred in recent years during periods of quiet meditation and prayer. My alone time with Christ has afforded me periods of peace and serenity unlike any I have ever known. I wouldn’t trade those for the world.

The woman from Kansas City whom I had loved came to mind repeatedly during my meditation sessions in 2018, and I turned to Christ for guidance. She was always a woman of faith and memories of her devotion to Christ returned to my memory. Shortly afterward, I looked her up through Facebook and came to learn that she had married.

It was evident by what she posted on her Facebook page that she was miserable in her marriage. She was a brilliantly artistic woman, and her feed was dotted with pleas for help. Upon reviewing her feed, I once again turned to Christ for guidance. Through prayer and meditation, I was called to reach out to her directly and did so on Thanksgiving Day of 2018.

The same day I reached out to her, I learned that my first romantic partner from high school had taken her own life. I did some digging afterward and came to learn that she had been involved in an abusive marriage arranged through her father. I broke down and cried when I learned of this and then suppressed my desire to seek retribution.

Shortly after I first reached out to the woman from Kansas City, I wrote her a twenty-page letter and confessed to what she had meant to me. Prayer and meditation guided me through the letter. I spoke about my involvement with the GCHQ and the CIA, the attempt on my life, and the changes I had gone through since accepting Christ into my heart.

Afterward, I sent her a second letter and told her that I was aware that she was unhappy in her marriage. I then began to investigate the circumstances of her marriage. What I discovered disturbed me greatly. It was also somewhat ironic given the focus of my assignments with the GCHQ.

The marriage had been arranged by her eldest brother. That man had gone on to become a mid-level drug dealer within the suburbs of Kansas City after I broke up with this woman. So, too, had her two other brothers. Together, they ran a crystal meth distribution ring and paid fealty to Cosa Nostra. They were mid-level gangster at best, but they had dreams of expanding their distribution ring.

The man my former girlfriend had married came from a prominent Kansas City family that had made money in the agricultural business, and he had dreams of becoming a Mafioso of some sort. My former girlfriend’s brother thought he could exploit him, so he introduced that man to my former girlfriend. I learned that my former girlfriend’s eldest brother had bullied her into the marriage by basically telling her that it would be good for the family.

In turn, the man my former girlfriend married wound up selling agricultural secrets to the Chinese. The deal was arranged through my former girlfriend’s brother’s original drug suppliers.

The man my former girlfriend married also made routine business trips out to the West Coast and solicited call girls and hookers during these excursions. Worst of all, I learned that he was both physically and verbally abusive with my former girlfriend. This last fact left me seething with anger.

When I learned of the abuse, I refrained from retribution and turned to Christ. Through prayer and meditation, I was called to write a letter to my former girlfriend’s daughter. Within the letter, I outlined a portion of what I knew and urged my former girlfriend’s daughter to intercede on her mother’s behalf. I also conveyed that I had loved her as my own.

Not long after sending the letter, I learned that my former girlfriend was murdered by her husband. Shortly afterward, her daughter was also murdered. Both murders hit me heard, and the latter especially so. My former girlfriend’s daughter had been involved with a low-level solder that worked for her uncle. The entire family was whipped out in a gangland killing, and I happened to be familiar with the families behind the murder.

Rather than seek retribution for their murders, I stepped back and turned the matter over to Christ. It would have been easy for me to have taken the perpetrators out, but doing so would have corrupted my soul in the process. I am not the same man I was during my time with the GCHQ. Christ Himself rescued me from the gates of hell and I have no intention of ever returning to what I once was.

In my mourning, I scoured my former girlfriend’s social media pages one last time and discovered that she had remained true to her first love, the father of her daughter. Her Instagram page had a handful of soft messages longing for his return. Without equivocation, I can say that learning of this brought joy to my heart.

I had loved their daughter as my own and I know that she and her mother are both with Christ. This was revealed to me through the Holy Spirit the day both their murders took place. I happen to know of the man who fathered my former girlfriend’s daughter, and he’s turned out to live a decent life. I know in my heart that the two of them will be reunited with him through Christ. Knowing this has given me a degree of solace.

FINAL THOUGHTS
Last August, after thirty-four years of service, I officially resigned my commission with the GCHQ. I also terminated my arrangement with the CIA. Shortly afterward, I shared details of the abuse I suffered at the hands of the man who raised me with my mother. The details included the times he had molested me in my infancy.

I would like to say that this confession brought with it some healing, but it hasn’t. My mother is a firm state of denial over what occurred. She has also glossed over the abuses she suffered of her husband. In effect, the conversations I’ve had with her regarding these matters have been much like speaking with a combative teenager.

From a psychological perspective, my mother’s reaction seems to be a twisted form of Stockholm Syndrome. She’s nearing the end of her life and has guilt over her alcohol dependency during my adolescence and teen years. She is also still together with the man who raised me, and he continues to abuse her.

There is a part of me that would like to rip apart the man who raised me as well as other members of my extended family that abused my mother and me. Nevertheless, I have backed away from my anger and turned these matters over to Christ. That said, I continue to speak with my mother and there are days where my afternoons are filled with prayer and meditation after speaking with her.

A confidant of mine told me recently that people who molest children do so for one of two reasons. Either they were raised that way and they are simply repeating a pattern, or they have a warped belief that the abuse they engage in is a way of conveying love.

With the family members that molested me and raped my mother, I know for a fact that the first explanation isn’t true. While my paternal grandfather was a heavy-handed man and a degenerate gambler, he did not sexually abuse his children. My grandmother never would have allowed it. She was an astute woman, and she would have known if something like that had occurred within her household.

I have no animus or anger toward my mother for her alcoholic behavior. In fact, I am sympathetic to a degree. She happened to love her biological father dearly and he passed away when she was eleven My grandmother remarried shortly afterward to bring a degree of stability to the home and she happened to choose a charming abuser. That set the tone for my mother’s life.

In effect, my mother never matured beyond the age of fifteen. She has always done her best to care for me despite her shortcomings and I love her dearly for that. In contrast, I have little love for the man who raised me nor for my extended family.

A few years back, I asked the man who raised if he believed in Christ. He immediately became confrontational with me and shouted tritely, “I’ll believe in him when I see him!” I have forgiven that man for the abuse he inflicted upon me, but it is my intention to never speak with him again. His heart was hardened long ago.

As for the GCHQ and their exploitation of my upbringing, the fact that they attempted to assassinate me last April after I refused another combat assignment tells you all you need to know. I was no more than a dispensable asset to them for the beginning, and my loyalty was all for naught. After I accepted Christ into my heart, I was useless to them.

The British Crown has little regard for the Magna Carta and the principles of liberty and freedom. It took me more than thirty years to realize this, but it’s true. The same can be said for the powerbrokers that control the American government. Specifically, the Federal Reserve Board and the interests they serve. They, too, have little regard for the Constitution of the United States and the Bill of Rights. Like their British counterparts, the board members of the Federal Reserve and the families they represent believe these documents as no more than window dressing.

Christ warns that “it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 19:24) That said, it has been a humiliating experience to realize that the interests I severed for thirty-three-plus years have little or no regard for the Ten Commandments nor for Christ’s teachings. Intrinsically, these were the principles that lured me into the intelligence community in the first place. When the powerbrokers and kingmakers I once served speak publicly of such things, their words are filled with empty platitudes.

“But no one can enter the strong man’s house and plunder his property unless he first ties up the strong man, and then he will plunder his house.
‘Truly I say to you, all sins will be forgiven the sons and daughters of men, and whatever blasphemies they commit; but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin.’”
---Mark 3:27-29

CHRIST TRANSLATES FROM BEAST TO YEAST. CHRIST RETURNITH.

Author: Erik Gagnon - Managing Partner, Chi Rho Consulting

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